IMAO

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01/13/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Another Trillion Should Solve Everything (chan 2127240)

* Sorry, been a bad week for blogging for me. Good news: I’m making some progress on my next book which I promise to be the funniest book ever and solve all our nation’s problems. It might create new problems for other nations, but that’s not my concern. * Good news: Conservatives still more popular [...]


01/16/12--09:02: Only Career Politicians Should Be President (chan 2127240)

I have the day off for Martin Luther King Day so I’m going to spend the day concentrating on not being racist instead of blogging, but I do have a new column in the New York Post on how we should only elect a president who hasn’t been sullied by working in a private sector, [...]


01/17/12--06:23: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

In Ron Paul’s new fundraiser, he’s going to dance while people throw nickels at him. I heard in a speech the other day, Obama announced he’s going to do something. That’s always been a bad idea. He’s just not good at that. Obama should practice standing still, smiling, and waving at people. I think he [...]


01/17/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Obama to Shrink Government, Number of People Who Believe Him (chan 2127240)

* There was the 840th Republican debate last night. I only caught a bit of it, but apparently it was one of Romney’s worst debates. Of course, it doesn’t really matter as we’re only a few more primaries away from where we stop pretending someone else might be the nominee. The main thing now is [...]


01/17/12--18:32: lolterizt! Part 148 (chan 2127240)

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier. NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for [...]


01/18/12--06:21: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

Don’t urinate on a copy of the latest issue of Newsweek as it’s wrong to pee on corpses. No Wikipedia today? I better look up those Firefly episode synopses now. Turkey says if Perry doesn’t apologize for calling them Islamic terrorists they’ll suicide bomb him. Hippies are protesting SOAP today. So why are sites going [...]


01/18/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Wikipedia Is Down, So Just Try and Disprove Any of This (chan 2127240)

* So Wikipedia has gone dark today. It’s because they’re protesting SOPA which is… I dunno, some sort of internet bill that people think is too obtrusive because it… well, I haven’t heard a succinct explanation yet. I assume it’s pretty stupid because politicians came up with it, but I don’t know the details. I [...]


01/19/12--06:31: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

Because of Sesame Streets’s The Count, our generation grew up not fearing vampires and thus the Twilight series happened. What Mark Wahlberg said wan’t that ridiculous. He usually beats someone up every flight he’s on. I don’t get the left freaking out over SOPA but not over other regulation. It’s like they only want to [...]


01/19/12--08:00: Nuke the News: We Didn’t Save a Pretzel for the Gas Jets (chan 2127240)

* So it’s looks like Rick Perry is dropping out. He seemed like such a good candidate with his conservative credentials and Texas jobs record, but then in the debates he appeared inebriated, confused, and like he wasn’t completely familiar with the English language. It was just a scary prospect to make him our nominee. [...]


01/20/12--04:23: Microsoft apps (chan 2127240)

Microsoft is developing a new app for their phones. And a lot of people are getting their panties in a wad over it. The app is still under development, but word of it has leaked out, as has the working title of the app: Avoid The Ghetto. According to the patent filing, the app is [...]


01/20/12--06:27: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

The Keystone pipeline would make greens unhappy, and can you put a price tag on happiness? If you did, it’s apparently billions of dollars “I have invented colorful dough that kids can mold into shapes. I shall name it after myself.” -Plato Nominating Newt is one of those plans you’d suffix with “It’s so crazy, [...]


01/20/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Eye of Newt (chan 2127240)

* So, Newt surged to be frontrunner a month or so back and then everyone just kind of faded on him because, well, he’s Newt and he’s unstable. But I guess Romney marching to the nomination was just too bitter a pill to swallow as — BOOM! — Newt is surging in popularity again and [...]


01/21/12--18:53: Open Thread: Newt got better (chan 2127240)

After opening the week behind Mitt Romney according to the polls of South Carolina voters, Fox News’ Juan Williams, ABC News/ex-wife Number Two, and CNN’s John King gave Newt Gingrich a shot in the arm. Gingrich pulled out a big win in the South Carolina primary tonight. I won’t spend a lot of time on [...]


01/23/12--06:28: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

Obama’s biggest reelection challenge is that he’s not very good at being president and everyone knows it. I guess I’m honored that Newsweek picked what I said as one of the top tweets making fun of them. Drinking coffee from a glass mug just seems wrong. Coffee should only be seen from the top. “Are [...]


01/23/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Newt! Newt! Newt! (chan 2127240)

* So, are we really doing this? Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary — and by a large margin. And now polls have him leading in Florida. This seems a little… crazy. I mean, I know we all don’t like Mitt Romney, and New Gingrich is very good at not being Mitt Romney, but [...]


01/24/12--06:17: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

If I were only old enough to be president, I’d totally ride to the rescue right now. I hope Newt flames out again because I have a great headline for when he does: “Moot Gingrich” Buttercup’s response to “Can you give your daddy a big hug?”: “NO!” I’m not paying for her college. Ends up [...]


01/24/12--08:00: Nuke the News: The Party of Junk Touching (chan 2127240)

* Well, I had some doubts about Newt Gingrich, but it’s time to give those up since FRED THOMPSON HAS ENDORSED HIM! As you may recall, after careful consideration, IMAO decided to endorse Fred Thompson in the 2008 primary. Fred Thompson Fact: If you have doubts about Newt’s electability, Fred Thompson will punch you in [...]


01/24/12--16:34: lolbama! Part 81 (chan 2127240)

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier. NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for [...]


01/25/12--06:34: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

If a candidate’s tax returns reveal he didn’t do everything he could to avoid paying taxes, he should be tossed out of the race as a moron. So the left are really going to argue that Romney sending $6.2 million of his money to Washington to die was too little? Is Obama’s big plan to [...]


01/25/12--08:00: Nuke the News: The State of the Union Is We Have a Useless Leader (chan 2127240)

* I’m in the New York Post again! Yeah, I know I’ve been having a column with them about once a week, but aren’t you amazed each time? Anyway, this one is on why it’s good to have a food stamp president and that government dependency is just a good idea. Really, who would you [...]


01/26/12--06:31: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

When you compare charitable givings, aren’t the left way more greedy than the right? It would seem like extreme hypocrisy when someone like Biden who gives $369 a year to charity complains about greed in others. Maybe the press doesn’t find hypocrisy very interesting. I guess the left are for more taxation because, knowing themselves, [...]


01/26/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Newt Deflating (chan 2127240)

* Intrade has Romney back up to about a 75% chance of winning the Florida primary and 80% chance of winning the nomination. It looks like the brief flirtation with Newt has ended as quickly and as quietly as the last time. And it’s not like Newt has done anything specific to lose support (and [...]


01/26/12--13:06: Cartoon of the Day: Sit, Newt, Sit! (chan 2127240)

I thought this was funny. [Direct link: Chuck Assay] I used to work in Jacksonville. Them folks don’t like other folks coming to town to tell them to sit down and shut up. If the crowd is actually people from Jacksonville, I expect they’ll cheer, boo, or whatever, if they feel like it. If they [...]


01/27/12--06:16: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

I’m okay with people saying Romney is the only viable choice. I just get angry if they act like he’s not a crappy choice. It should be illegal to use the term “fair share” without some concrete definition of it. Sentence for this crime: punch to face. “Fair share” will never be defined as far [...]


01/27/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Are We Back to Inevitability? (chan 2127240)

* There was another — yes, another! — debate last night. Luckily, I had to work late and completely missed the whole thing. Another advantage of gainful employment. Anyway, I heard that there was a long discussion of moon bases during it. I don’t like moon bases. That could ruin my nuke the moon plans. [...]