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02/03/12--06:42: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

You can’t be constantly outrageous and a conservative, because eventually you’ll run out of ways to be outrageous from the right. If you ever need a power rush, find the biggest celebrities and most powerful people on Twitter and block them from following you. “Fighting cancer is important, so it’s best not to try and [...]


02/03/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Whining for Abortion (chan 2127240)

* I have a new New York Post column on how the Democratic Presidential Primary has yet to produce a serious candidate for president. People were very excited about Obama when he first emerged on the scene in 2008, but as his campaign went on — and as he’s actually served as president — it’s [...]


02/06/12--06:45: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

Isn’t the whole point of Komen not wanting to be associated with Planned Parenthood them putting women’s health before politics? Liberals live in Bizarro world. So Komen is literally trying to split the baby. It is pretty Orwellian to claim not donating to Planned Parenthood is “being political.” Why do abortion groups need donations? Isn’t [...]


02/06/12--08:00: Nuke the News: The Big Game (chan 2127240)

* So there was a Super Bowl over the weekend. I didn’t think the commercials were that great this year. There were only a handful I liked. Like the one with the dog in running shoes. What did you think? And a Battleship movie? Come on. As for the game, well I guess it was [...]


02/07/12--06:32: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

The new revelations about JFK don’t change the fact that he heroically… what was it he’s supposed to have done again? Maybe Obama should use the Beatle’s “Getting Better” as his campaign theme song. It’s not an easy task to channel my awesomeness into the written word, but I do what I can. For the [...]


02/07/12--08:00: Nuke the News: What We Deserve (chan 2127240)

* Obama says he’s getting better at being president and deserves a second term. Well, for the first claim, maybe he is getting better. He had the advantage of starting so poorly, it was hard for him to do any worse. As for the second part, it’s more a question of whether we as a [...]


02/07/12--18:04: lolbama! Part 82 (chan 2127240)

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier. NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for [...]


02/08/12--06:46: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

Two groups in this country: racists who look at Obama and see a black president and non-racist who see a hugely incompetent president. I asked CPAC if I was allowed to attend, but they told me no. That’s because it’s RINO dominated this year. All martini sipping elites. I brought my own martini shakers, but [...]


02/08/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Santorumania! (chan 2127240)

* I have a new New York Post column on why Occupy Wall Street is the greatest political movement and will be around forever. Nothing ruins a political movement like achieving its goals. No one wants to keep yelling and waving signs after they get what they want. OWS wisely avoided this pitfall. The Occupiers [...]


02/09/12--06:32: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

Didn’t Intrade have Romney at 99% chance of winning Colorado yesterday? Not really a shinning success for it. Santorum, eh? Any analysis on how his jib is cut? I wait at the end of the level to fight you in a protracted battle… LIKE A BOSS! Fun Fact: I watched the 2000 election returns come [...]


02/09/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Bitterly Clinging to Attacks on Religion (chan 2127240)

* Obama is apparently dumber than we thought. He knew that forcing religious organizations to pay for contraception — and abortifacients — would be controversial, but he thought it would play out as, “This is about contraception; no one finds contraception controversial anymore.” Of course, it’s played out as religious liberty issue, which is huge [...]


02/10/12--06:34: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

So we now have a right to force other people to pay for something we think we need. Yay. We need a national point of order on exactly what a “right” is. We have a lot of “slavery is freedom” going on. If you think you have a right to a job, food, and a [...]


02/10/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Three Way Race (chan 2127240)

* So Santorum is doing well in the polls. And what does this mean? It means we have a three way race, i.e., a chance for a brokered convention. A lot of people are hoping that will be our cure-all, allowing us to finally pick the none of the above, but isn’t going to be [...]


02/13/12--06:26: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

If free contraception is that important to you, make a free contraception charity. Freedom! Han comes off worse in the special edition because Greedo seems so hapless when he misses by a mile at close range. If you aren’t sure whether Kim Jong Un is dead, just shoot him again. First draft of my new [...]


02/13/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Truth Teams (chan 2127240)

* Obama has a new budget proposal! And he projects a deficit of $1.33 trillion. He’s getting really serious about tackling that debt, isn’t he? But we have to spend that extra money to get all the great… I have no idea where all that money goes. Apparently, the more awful government gets, the more [...]


02/14/12--06:29: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

I don’t want a lot from politics. I just don’t want people dumber than me telling me what to do. I guess that’s asking a lot, actually. Obama: “Sorry, inner-city kids, you have to stay in your failing public schools. But, here, have a free morning after pill.” In my utopia, Supreme Court justices would [...]


02/14/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Tough Choices (chan 2127240)

* Obama says his 2013 budget reflects tough choices. With a $1.33 trillion deficit, what were the choices? “I could spend an obscene amount of money or a buttload of money. It’s like Sophie’s Choice times a million!” Oh, here’s one of the choices: Out of a budget of $3.8 trillion, Obama decided to remove [...]


02/14/12--12:19: lolterizt! Part 151 (chan 2127240)

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier. NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for [...]


02/15/12--06:39: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

I’m going to petition the state to change the slogan on our license plates from “Famous Potatoes” to “Not Scared of Wild Gorillas.” For Valentine’s Day, I got my wife stuff. I guess I did okay. For me, she paid to get me in the Bearmageddon comic. Because she loves me.


02/15/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Obama, Tax Cutter (chan 2127240)

* Obama says the fight on the payroll tax cut isn’t over, as he hasn’t quite gotten the political mileage he was hoping out of it. Apparently, he was expecting the Republicans insist on him actually budgeting for it, but Obama doesn’t like budgets and numbers which are all racist. But the Republicans are apparently [...]


02/16/12--06:41: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

Aww. I got mentioned in yesterday’s Morning Jolt by Jim Geraghty as one of the reasons things aren’t so bad for conservatism. Because of me, things are looking up because we only need to hold out until 2016 when I can be president. Then I’ll fix everything. I wish a billionaire gave me millions in [...]


02/16/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Chimichanga (chan 2127240)

* So Obama is still pushing those Truth Teams. I notice they have a long list of lies they’re trying to fight, but one is “The Truth Teams hunt down people they don’t believe are telling the truth and drag those people away from their homes in the middle of the night.” But instead of [...]


02/17/12--06:19: Random Thoughts (chan 2127240)

If you want contraceptives to be a personal matter, you probably shouldn’t force other people to pay for it. Who is this Asian guy who works for the Knicks that everyone is talking about? He mess up their accounting or something? I thought a Theocrat was a member of the political party based around the [...]


02/17/12--08:00: Nuke the News: Why Do We Still Have Kennedys? (chan 2127240)

* Joe Kennedy III is going to run for Barney Frank’s seat. I think his slogan is going to be: “I’m a Kennedy; I’m entitled to this.” Anyone who willingly elects a Kennedy shouldn’t show his face among fellow Americans. The whole point of a democracy is that we wouldn’t be forced to be ruled [...]


02/20/12--07:49: Presidents Day (chan 2127240)

I have the day off, so I’ll get back to blogging tomorrow. For now, let’s celebrate how there are presidents or something. Name you favorite president, your most hated president, and the president you feel the least about one way or the other. I like Ronald Reagan, I don’t like Jimmy Carter, and I’m not [...]